KIDS CORNER
There is no doubt that today, children are struggling more than they used to with high levels of anxiety, behavioural issues and managing big emotions. Giving them tools to wind down and self-regulate can help manage some of these issues.
Encouraging them to talk about their day at dinner time can help to let go of the worries of the day – acknowledging their big emotions, and reassuring them that it’s okay to cry or to be sad, same as it is okay to be happy.
We recently received some tough news: my aunty is very sick with mouth cancer. Chances are that she is not going to make it and that her time with us will be cut short. I called them and, while speaking to my uncle on the phone, I was crying nonstop. Cayden who has only met his great-aunt a couple of times also cried with me in sympathy. I like that he was very comfortable with crying and expressing sadness, but it was amazing to also see the hope in a young child’s eyes. After our phone conversation with the family, he went and lit a candle in his room for my aunt. His young mind still sees life, wiht a glint of hope of a miracle.
TEENS AND YOUNG ADULTS CORNER
The craze of Taylor Swift in our neck of the woods has come and gone. Many young adults, teenagers and tweens missed out on concert tickets. I listened to a podcast by well-known Australian psychologist, author, and motivational speaker Dr Justin Coulson (who usually writes and speaks about parenting and family matters) on how to deal with the disappointment of not scoring tickets. He says he received a lot of backlash after he published his opinion which was:
- Have soft eyes, i.e. have compassion for your child who missed out on tickets.
- Give them fantasy: that is offering empathy like “Don’t you wish you were there” without patronising.
- Listening.
- Shake it off – let them mourn then move on.
- Never minimise – that is telling them “It’s just a concert”.
The backlash was people saying these tips will promote self-entitlement and not prepare our teens for disappointment. After reading all the responses from the parents, I would say each teen is different and some of these pieces of advice might work for one and not for others.
The best thing to do, I think, is to always support our teens and help them find solutions. I am not a fan of Taylor Swift and neither is my boy, but it is always sad to see teens missing out as they seem to endure so much more pressure to fit in than we did at their age, with social media exacerbating everything.
Some parents took their children to stand outside Taytay’s concert, to listen to the sounds from inside the stadium, and others apparently even held Taylor Swift parties at home. This would have certainly helped some of the teens to feel supported. Other parents would likely have said, “just get over it and move on”. Growing up, I missed out on a lot of things but, in hindsight, I realise that missing out on so many things that I really wanted taught me to grow a thick skin, and made me stronger and more resilient.
Do you have any tips or preferences that you would like to share about managing the emotions of young children and teens? Let us know in the comments below.
Meditation and family yoga 